Well here we are and it’s probably too late to apologize, make amends, etc but here we are. The Brave Few is finally complete and spans 12 episodes. It was shot many years ago and it is only now, that it’s been completed. Why? Well, the story is sort of complex, but not really.
I quit creating content.
After posting one video a week for a year back in 2011-ish I just never seemed to be able to do enough to equal the reach of my competition. It hurt a lot because I wanted nothing more than to produce awesome stuff that people would enjoy. In hindsight I know I was doing just that, but at the time I didn’t see it that way. I was in the mix with GakAttack and Zack King. Gak was athletic and a damn good looking dude. Zack had a team of people working on incredible VFX. And, I was just me. My myself. I didn’t have the looks, I didn’t have the charisma, I didn’t have martial arts, I didn’t have the machismo and I didn’t have a team but I kept going anyway. I did have a sense of humor, the “eye” for things, and the ability to edit stuff together.
At one point Gak made an IRL Mega Man video.
He posted in the description or on FB that if someone made a video like his, he would comment on it + share. That inspired me to make the Batman short.
He never did comment on it, but I did get to know him a tiny bit and that is/was worth more to me than anything. Not because I was trying to sell shit, but I honestly just wanted more creative friends. That’s it, man. Having a community of people is everything really…to me at least.
While that’s true, I also failed to jump on top of opportunities. One of those included missing the chance to meet up with Zack in Portland during his road trip. We exchanged messages and I never showed. Because I was scared. I messed that up and it will be one of my greatest regrets for the rest of my life. I failed myself again.
In the middle of all this, I was working on a film with my brother and Kyle Anderson. My brother, Brian, wrote it while Kyle provided his visual creativity, story insights, and acting ability. I financed, shot, directed, and edited the film.
In 2010-2011 (I think), we wrote the film and scouted locations. I still have the binder containing printed photos we could reference in scene breakdowns. In 2011-2012 we shot the whole film. Hundreds of hours, thousands of dollars, and a lot of tapes. Yes, tapes.
At the time DSLR’s existed but were generally out of reach. The film was shot on a Sony FXI which cost me around $1200. We recorded about 17-20 tapes of content. I still have the camera, equipment, costumes, and more.
In all, we probably spent $5,000 – $6,000 to put this together from scouting to edited/uploaded assets.
Here we are in 2020 where I’ve finally wrapped this up. It’s a huge accomplishment in my life and together we forged some incredible memories. It also became a sore point in all of our lives I think. We were navigating what it meant to be “grown-up” we each started going our own ways and it became increasingly difficult to be … friends. Life happens man. It’s just how things go sometimes.
For years TBF sat in the back of mind as both fond and painful memories. It was hard to overcome. It reminded me of what I had and what I had lost over the years. The three of us were a crew for a long time, but since then we’ve all married and they have kids (I don’t). Life is different, creativity often seems out of reach and that feeling of “losing” this whole YouTube game hurts like hell.
In 2019 though, I suffered a major setback when I was geared up (through scheduled time off) to finish TBF. That setback wasn’t some kind of break up or some other bullshit excuse. I was in the hospital and I thought I was dying. I’m incredibly grateful that I’m able to write this and that TBF is done, no matter the feedback or backlash I receive. I was very sick because I made myself sick.
I took too much on, I ate all my feelings and nearly drank myself to death (energy drinks). I was 361 pounds and life was out of control. It came just months after having the time of my life in Maui where I married my wife and partner of almost 10 years as of writing this. And, when I was present for the passing of my Grandfather I suffered an extremely bad anxiety attack, bordering on a heart attack. It culminated with dozens of doctor visits, check-ups and tests. I learned I had several conditions, some of them life-altering. Thankfully though, my heart was okay.
I’ve allowed a lot of outside voices to damage my perception of reality and this last year, I’ve been focused on getting back on track. Having lost 60 pounds, I can safely say that I feel much better both mentally and physically. Over the course of that period though, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it so, I finished TBF with the mindset that I needed to get it done, “before I die.” It was that kind of motivation that got me to this point.
And so, the first episode goes live today. One day after my brother’s birthday and on the anniversary of a weight loss battle I started 10+ years ago. Take a look and let me know what you think.
Today, my greatest hope is that I inspire one person to do something they really want to do. I’m not sure what the future holds for me, but if you’re reading this please know that you MUST take the path of “most resistance”. Often what you want is on the other side of that pain.
Thank you so much for reading.